Boulder Cyclist receives 2 year ban from UCI

Boulder -

Yesterday UCI announced they are banning a 28 year female rider Sarah Tream-Thompson. Even though Sarah has never had any doping test performed on her she has admitted to usage of EPO, testosterone, and excessive caffeine. Her ban will prevent her from participating in any sanctioned cycling event for the next 2 years, but there is one small catch here, Sarah doesn't race.

Sarah is what she calls, "a competitive bike commuter". "I own like 3 popular commuter routes in Boulder". A quick check in Strava proves it, Sarah is the leader of the Boulder - Lafayette (via Baseline), South Boulder HC into Louisville, and Boulder - Gunbarrel. When asked about why she likes competitive commuting she says, "it's way better than racing, you don't have anyone yelling at you to hold your line, there's a race 5 days a week, 1 category, no timing chips, registration, license and all that BS that comes with racing."

Most other commuters on these routes have no idea what Sarah is talking about, "I've seen her a few times flying past me going up Baseline Hill, I just assumed she was some pro getting some training in around Boulder. The worst is she blows through the stoplight like it's not even there regardless of cars." One commuter though was glad to see her she got busted, "she came out of no where this year with Strava times off the charts, first I thought she was hacking the GPX files but one day I used my moped to stalk her and saw that she was indeed producing those times on her own. I knew something was up because years prior she was just a normal commuter with average times but something changed this year".

The situation is as odd as the bust, since Sarah never races she has never been tested and never made USADA radar until last month Sarah was arrested in Longmont because she was soliciting sex outside of Amgen where EPO is made. Sarah was exchanging sex for EPO. That led them to confronting Sarah who from day 1 has been very open with investigators about her drug use.

But nothing will change says Sarah, she never races and has no plans to so she will continue to do what she can to get the EPO. Sarah has tried to contact a coach for advice on nutrition and training but he will not return her emails. Smart guy.

News Item: 

23 Comments say you stick up say you stick up for Allen Lim but you can't even spell his name right? Pulllleeese. Go have a soy non-fat latte and a shot of whiskey.

Allen Lim is a great guy. Has tried hard to get where he's at. And I don't think there is a single damn human being in the cycling industry that doesn't love the guy. I"ve seen him give 2 TED talks. Read his book. Met him personally.

Oh...and this was all obviously a joke. And I have to say it's pretty damn awesome. Kudos for 303cycling having such a fun and uplifting sense of humor on the topic. Cause guess what? Doping has been in cycling since day one. It's not giving away. Ever. It's entertainment, and if you don't like it? Well I agree there are better people to support than anyone in the Tour de France right now anyway....which is really just a much preferred thing to see on the TV at a bar/restaurant vs crap US news sources and baseball. Boring.

Want a hero? Look at guys like Fixie Dave.....who road the whole Divide course on a fixed gear mountain bike. Or someone like Jeff Kerkove of Ergon who kicks ass in weird races around the world from South America to Nepal. Hell, go cheer on that 15 year old kid on the crap bike trying to give it a go at a local race. THAT's what cycling is about. Say anything else, you are just another idealistic trustafraian. Grow up and learn to love the good things in life and the good people like those mentioned above who really make our sport great to begin with.

Oh...and guys like Kris with a wicked sense of humor. Give him a ring, maybe he can get you a pro deal on your own sense of humor.

Why did did the author make her sell sex?

Because in the male-dominated world of sports, laughing at a slutty, fallen, weak, "slut" is much easier. I'd think it was much more clever and funny if the author had written it without automatically attaching "deprived" to a complex female character. When a woman is flawed, we like to make her a whore, as a society. It's simplistic and stupid. And in this case detracts from the overall effect of the otherwise humerous story. If you're going to write, don't take the path of least resistance. It's lazy at best and perpetuates dangerous stereotypes, at worst.

Let me guess

Let me guess live in Boulder and are about 22-23?

Get over yourself, this is such an obvious joke of a post and so blatant to the rest of us only someone full of themselves and mis guided agenda's would write such. Totally out of context.

Ps Tell our heroine in the tale Kris that I have a bunch of EPO and she can have sex with me for it. That slut.